Welcome

The REAL TeaseMaid since 2011! Take a peep at my blog: a sweet and sexy cocktail of Tea and Tease, a cupcake and cream-tea blog with a burlesque twist. Let's face it, afternoon tea is the most fun you can have with your clothes on! So read on for some tasty tit-bits that you're not gonna get from the 'old dears' at The Tea Guild.... ;-) If you fancy coming along to my monthly Clandestine Cake Club, see the link below. And don't forget to check out the date of my next 'Avon' retro cosmetic party "Cake It On".... Love from The TeaseMaid xox


Sunday, 29 April 2012

"Taxidermy and Tea" Bethnal Green
If some unfortunate person wired themselves up to my brain and intrepidly explored it's recesses (a bit like a Bear Grylls version of 'The Cell') they would encounter some very particular themes. I'm fairly convinced somebody did indeed do this and was inspired to create the following: "Taxidermy and Tea"!! And as well as doing exactly what it says on the tin and providing tea and taxidermy, the event also included some of my other favourite things, such as 'tease in the form of Burlesque act Coco Deville and an Alice In Wonderland/Heston Blumenthal food mash-up courtesy of Animal Vegetable Mineral. I honestly don't know where to start...

My friend and I arrived fairly early which gave us carte blanche to dig into the amazing Mad Hatter's style spread before anyone else had a chance! The first thing we did was try the inhalable cakes which were vanilla or toffee apple flavour helium gas in colourful balloons - of course they came with the added surprise of making us sound like chipmunks which we hadn't anticipated, and made me laugh and snort the lovely 'Teapigs' tea out of my nose when Debbie started talking like Alvin.
Also available were scones, jammy dodgers, iced mushrooms that tasted like crispy cinnamon biscuits and marzipan bumblebees. I dug in to some of the savoury sandwiches first: perfect ham and mustard, buttery cheese and cucumber and spicy egg mayonnaise, before devouring the sweets.

There was a chocolate tower which needed to be smashed with a mallet, candy floss trees containing the best candy-floss I've EVER tasted and also little chocolate and beetroot mousses with chocolate 'soil' crumbs and mint leaves that made them look like little potted plants. And even though the food did taste amazing, half the fun came from putting things in your mouth that you weren't quite sure about...were the mini ice cream cones going to be sweet or savoury? Did the marzipan bees contain real honey..or real bee?! It was all so Willy Wonka - it was amazing!
After we'd filled our bellies we waddled off like Augustus Gloop and took a seat in front of the shabby heart-shaped stage to await the amazing Amanda...


What then ensued was a thoroughly enjoyable and informative session with Amanda as she 'taxidermied' a rabbit before our very eyes! The process was done in two stages with the skinning occuring for the first hour. It was very interactive, and the audience were able to shout out questions to Amanda and join in the discussion as she worked. Even better, we had a break in the middle which allowed us to re-fill on tea (or at the bar if we preferred) and shove more sweets into our eager mouths. (For an audience like us, it wasn't as if the taxidermy put us off the ham sandwiches - if anything, I really wanted a nice rabbit stew...)
Then, as we digested a bit we were regaled by the fantastic burlesque performer Coco Deville and her Alice In Wonderland inspired act. See here for a snippet:
video
Part two of T&T consisted of the 'stuffing' part of the taxidermy, again with step-by-step instructions and Amanda's fantastic stories and patter with the audience. The only problem is she was so good she made it look too easy and I have a feeling lots of people will try their hand at this in their kitchens at home, much to their 'other halfs' horror!
After the session we had a lovely chat with Amanda who I'd like to work with in future on various projects, and I couldn't help but wonder if taxidermy may overcome things such as knitting and crochet as a 'group' activity. Why go to Knat and Natter or Stitch and Bitch when you could take part in a Gut and Gossip session, or go to Stuff and Nonsense?! There's definitely a market for it ;) And living in a London flat where pets aren't allowed, I certainly think I've found a loophole...
All in all, the perfect way for me to spend a Saturday - it had absolutely everything...nearly... The only thing it was missing was Bear Grylls :( 
Until next time...xox
http://www.amandasautopsies.com/
http://www.avmcuriosities.com/ (Animal Vegetable Mineral)
http://www.therobincollective.co.uk/ (Experimental Pop-Up Events)
http://www.coco-deville.com/

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

"Big Chocolate Tea Party!" For....
Every April the SCT encourages people to throw a choccy tea party and also has stalls to sell donated cakes. This year one was in Borough Market and I baked a cake as well as helped out on the stall for a few hours. Oh my gosh it was so difficult not to shove my face in all the lovely cakes!



A nice little surprise was the organiser of 'The Cake And Bake Show 2012" which will be in earls Court during September. He donated lots of pink and glittery vanilla cupcakes that went like hot-cakes...or like cup-cakes I guess..!
I think it's definitely time to change that phrase from hot-cakes to cup-cakes as it seems the delicious single portion delights have never been so popular. In fact the lovely organiser of the campaign, Sophie Dean (Community Fundraiser for SCT), tells me we took over £1000 that day for the SCT so all in all it was a massive success :)
Thanks to everyone who came down on the day and thanks for the donated cakes from The Cake and Bake Show, Beas of Bloomsbury and Ms Cupcake among others. hope to see you at the next one xox
www.sickchildrenstrust.org

Monday, 9 April 2012

"Lost Society" 1920's afternoon tea (@Blind Tiger)
http://www.blindtigerlondon.co.uk/
Finally Easter arrived which meant I could go back to my usual creamy, meaty, chocolatey eating habits. Don't get me wrong - I have nothing against vegetarians or vegans and I absolutely love things like Quorn and tofu, but life for me is certainly about choice and balance so it was nice to be able to treat myself after a good internal spring clean...!
So I did it in style at "Lost Society" in South London, a little gem of a place that I annoyingly never knew about when I lived down that way.
For everyone who thinks that you can only find decent places to eat, drink and be merry North of the river then think again: South London has some brilliant places which aren't as full of hipsters and aren't as expensive so it's well worth taking a trip to the deep, dark South...
The decor at Lost Society is really luxurious and vintage with a theme that relies heavily on Prohibition. Cocktails are served in teapots and there are lists of pre- and post-prohibition drinks on the menu, and the music I'm happy to say was also of the right era.
The food itself was amazing! One of the best teas I've ever had. To begin with we were given a complimentary Bellini which was beautiful and felt considerably naughty at 3pm on a Sunday...
Then the sandwiches came and they were to die for. As the meat-eater to my vegetarian companion, it was left to me to devour the little open sandwiches with Coronation chicken, salmon and cream cheese and gorgeous beef and horseradish that was just the right shade of pink in the middle. My friend had the cheese and the egg ones which I'm told were delicious. We both washed them down with the Bellinis while our English Breakfast tea was brewing beside us. (I always go for English Breakfast as that is a staple I can compare across the board. But this tea menu was really interesting and provided by Tea Pigs - it even included a 'popcorn' tea which I'd love to try next time.)

Friday, 6 April 2012

'Big Chocolate Tea Party' in aid of The Sick Childrens Trust
Listen up, cake bitches! - now it's time to put your money (and your time) where your mouth is: Bake a big chocolate cake for this Saturday (April 7th) then head to Borough Market with your wares...
www.sickchildrenstrust.org
The Sick Childrens Trust are running the Big Chocolate Tea Party campaign throughout April in order to raise money to provide accomodation for the parents of sick children. This is because there are many children who need to be treated far from the family home for their conditions, and this can put a financial strain on parents and siblings. (See the direct link on your right.)
Last year the campaign enabled the SCT to provide over 600 nights of free accomodation to the families of sick children, so lets try and top that this year :)

Head down to the lovely Borough Market from Saturday early morning, either to donate a cake or to buy one. I'll be taking two cakes with me, one donated by the fantastic Crimson Heart Cafe in Shoreditch (see my other posts labelled 'Crimson Heart') and one made by my own fair hands! I'll also be volunteering on the stall so come and say 'Hi' and fill your face :) See you then xox

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