'The Park Lounge' at The Milestone Hotel, Kensington
Despite the fact that we just had a heatwave, we have crossed the threshold into September and that means it's Autumn. Does anyone else remember years ago we'd be getting ready for our new school term and purchasing new tights and jumpers and a 'big coat'? As the years have passed it's like the seasons are getting later and now September is fairly summery for us. Even most of winter is quite mild until we get to Jan and Feb and freeze our asses off... Oh, bring back cold September mornings with the smell of burning leaves in the air and chestnuts underfoot!
Anyway, musing aside, I absolutely LOVE Autumn - it's my favourite time of year. All the great things happen: Halloween, Bonfire Night, My Birthday (to name a few. E-mail me for details of the latter...) and of course you can mull cider and wine so you have a great excuse to drink all day, especially if you're at a market or in the park.
I've decided to start reviewing some great autumnal places to fit in with the time of year and I recently went to The Milestone Hotel, basically because in the pics on the web it looked like Sherlock Holmes' drawing room, or a place where Oscar Wilde may have sipped champagne and dreamed up 'The Picture of Dorian Gray'

You can see what I mean: rows of books, soft lighting, velvet and giant paintings - The Milestone really didn't disappoint. The only thing is that photographs of places tend to make us imagine there are blanks to be filled in with our minds so I pictured this room with its grandiose decor as much larger than it was. It was gorgeous but it's really only the size of someone's lounge in their house.

That's quite nice though - it's not a negative. Less space = less people and noise (yes - I am an old person and I want to be able to hear my conversations...) so me and my guest (the lovely Amanda Sutton from Amanda's autopsies who I met during Taxidermy and Tea, see here for that review and her details http://afternoon-tease.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/taxidermy-and-tea.html) thoroughly enjoyed it.
The problem with reviewing tea for a magazine or similar publication is they treat you really well because they know who you are. Amanda and I were treated like royalty with a free full afternoon tea as well as champagne. The food was truly delicious with the typical finger sandwiches: smoked salmon, egg and watercress and ham and mustard to name a few. However there were a couple of very strange circular chicken mayonnaise sandwiches that had been rolled in chopped almonds that neither of us particularly liked (you can see them in the pic). Perhaps if they were Coronation Chicken circles the almonds would make sense, but with only mayo the combination was a bit strange.
The cakes were gorgeous but I think it's fairly difficult to go wrong with any kind of cake! We kept ourselves busy with mini eclairs, Black Forest cupcakes, almond financiers and coffee macaroons etc, and the room was very silent for that little episode...

Despite it being gorgeous it was also filling, so we had to ask for a doggy bag to take the rest of the cakes home. The Milestone provide you with a little carrying box plus handles so you can take them home in a dainty little case - however, I totally forgot to bring ours with me so that was a little fail right there :(

All in all it was a lovely ambient place to have a civilised afternoon tea with beautiful decor, gentle piano music drifting in from the conservatory and very helpful staff and I certainly want to go again and take tea in the conservatory itself (it has a totally different feel to the Lounge and would be lovely after a shopping trip with the girls):

http://www.milestonehotel.com/bar-and-dining/afternoon-tea

Head to the conservatory if you want to extend your summer but if you want to speed up the cosiness of autumn then do what I did and go to the Park Lounge xox


"Taxidermy and Tea" Bethnal Green
If some unfortunate person wired themselves up to my brain and intrepidly explored it's recesses (a bit like a Bear Grylls version of 'The Cell') they would encounter some very particular themes. I'm fairly convinced somebody did indeed do this and was inspired to create the following: "Taxidermy and Tea"!! And as well as doing exactly what it says on the tin and providing tea and taxidermy, the event also included some of my other favourite things, such as 'tease in the form of Burlesque act Coco Deville and an Alice In Wonderland/Heston Blumenthal food mash-up courtesy of Animal Vegetable Mineral. I honestly don't know where to start...

My friend and I arrived fairly early which gave us carte blanche to dig into the amazing Mad Hatter's style spread before anyone else had a chance! The first thing we did was try the inhalable cakes which were vanilla or toffee apple flavour helium gas in colourful balloons - of course they came with the added surprise of making us sound like chipmunks which we hadn't anticipated, and made me laugh and snort the lovely 'Teapigs' tea out of my nose when Debbie started talking like Alvin.
Also available were scones, jammy dodgers, iced mushrooms that tasted like crispy cinnamon biscuits and marzipan bumblebees. I dug in to some of the savoury sandwiches first: perfect ham and mustard, buttery cheese and cucumber and spicy egg mayonnaise, before devouring the sweets.

There was a chocolate tower which needed to be smashed with a mallet, candy floss trees containing the best candy-floss I've EVER tasted and also little chocolate and beetroot mousses with chocolate 'soil' crumbs and mint leaves that made them look like little potted plants. And even though the food did taste amazing, half the fun came from putting things in your mouth that you weren't quite sure about...were the mini ice cream cones going to be sweet or savoury? Did the marzipan bees contain real honey..or real bee?! It was all so Willy Wonka - it was amazing!
After we'd filled our bellies we waddled off like Augustus Gloop and took a seat in front of the shabby heart-shaped stage to await the amazing Amanda...

What then ensued was a thoroughly enjoyable and informative session with Amanda as she 'taxidermied' a rabbit before our very eyes! The process was done in two stages with the skinning occuring for the first hour. It was very interactive, and the audience were able to shout out questions to Amanda and join in the discussion as she worked. Even better, we had a break in the middle which allowed us to re-fill on tea (or at the bar if we preferred) and shove more sweets into our eager mouths. (For an audience like us, it wasn't as if the taxidermy put us off the ham sandwiches - if anything, I really wanted a nice rabbit stew...)
Then, as we digested a bit we were regaled by the fantastic burlesque performer Coco Deville and her Alice In Wonderland inspired act. See here for a snippet:

Part two of T&T consisted of the 'stuffing' part of the taxidermy, again with step-by-step instructions and Amanda's fantastic stories and patter with the audience. The only problem is she was so good she made it look too easy and I have a feeling lots of people will try their hand at this in their kitchens at home, much to their 'other halfs' horror!
After the session we had a lovely chat with Amanda who I'd like to work with in future on various projects, and I couldn't help but wonder if taxidermy may overcome things such as knitting and crochet as a 'group' activity. Why go to Knat and Natter or Stitch and Bitch when you could take part in a Gut and Gossip session, or go to Stuff and Nonsense?! There's definitely a market for it ;) And living in a London flat where pets aren't allowed, I certainly think I've found a loophole...

All in all, the perfect way for me to spend a Saturday - it had absolutely everything...nearly... The only thing it was missing was Bear Grylls :( 
Until next time...xox
http://www.amandasautopsies.com/
http://www.avmcuriosities.com/ (Animal Vegetable Mineral)
http://www.therobincollective.co.uk/ (Experimental Pop-Up Events)
http://www.coco-deville.com/