"Time for Tease" at Volupte Lounge, Norwich Street

http://www.timefortease.co.uk/

Perhaps I'm kinky or perhaps I just like value for money, but if I can have a cuppa and baps at the same time then I certainly won't say no. My penchant for a bit of titillation with my tea, and nipples with my nibbles, is fairly well known since I dreamed up the concept for this blog a couple of years ago: I wanted a nice tongue-in-cheek way to review afternoon tea, a supposedly innocent past-time that has its fair share of double-entendres (finger sandwiches anyone..?)
When I later discovered that someone had actually created afternoon tea which involved burlesque, it's safe to say I'd be there with knobs on - or tassels - I'm not fussed.
The day finally arrived and I crossed Volupte Lounge's dim threshold into a world of fabulous wallpaper, beautiful crockery and pin up pictures, and left the busy Jubilee streets behind.

It absolutely did not disappoint - it was everything I hoped it would be. From the moment we sat down at our table we were treated like Royalty (how apt) and offered a glass of bubbly. We then had plenty of time to peruse the menu of tea and tea based cocktails which are served in large or small teapots (This, I really like, as it means you can be an absolute booze-hound and no-one can tell...because the tea cocktails are actually HOT!)

  
As soon as we had chosen our delicious cocktails (and stipulated that although my companion was a vegetarian, I was happy to eat anything put in front of me) we were served a gorgeous array of finger sandwiches to nibble on almost immediately. I was pleased to discover that my favourite Coronation Chicken was on the menu, and happily not just for the Jubilee! (I was also given extra Coronation Chicken sandwiches as they are my favourite and for this reason alone I was ready to marry the waitress.)

The tea cocktail arrived in delicate matching china pots and we got down to the business of diving straight in.
Nibbling and sipping aside, we were able to have some time to chat (with mouths fairly full) before being pleasantly interrupted by the compere, the fantastic Ophelia Bitz, who regaled us with songs and jokes to warm us up. I have to say I was feeling pretty warmed up by the time the first burlesque artist came on, but that may have had a lot to do with the Gunfire (Lapsang Souchong and Rum) too....
After the first couple of acts, yet more delicate china arrived, this time a cake stand with scones and patisserie:

When I first saw it I did think it looked a little bit sparse compared to other selections I've had, but sometimes quality is more important than quantity. The little brownies were a divine gooey chocolatey mouthful, and the lemon posset with passion fruit was just tart enough to counteract any sickliness brought on by the copious amounts of booze and sugar. And realistically, we'd had so many nice sandwiches that any more cake would've killed us off.
Further welcome interruptions included more Ophelia Bitz, more acts (I won't put their pics on as it would spoil the surprise) and also some nipple tassels for sale courtesy of Rae Jenkin. My budget won't stretch to nipple tassels and pasties at the moment (there's another naughty joke: pasties and pastries...) but I took a card to browse the on-line selection. If I can get some of the cupcake pasties one day I'll know if finally 'made it' in the world of cake ;)
We really could've stayed there a lot longer - the decor was gorgeous and decadent and even the toilets were glamorous:

The music was great and the ambience was fantastic. It was with a fairly reluctant heavy gait that we ascended back into the bright London day around 2 hours after we'd arrived. I think next time I'll just head into the fabulous little upstairs bar and while the night away.
And there will be a next time for certain, for me and my companion who's already planning on bringing friends. 
Not only do the acts rotate so you will see different artists during different sittings, meaning you can keep returning and never get bored, but Volupte also host silent film in their Cine Illumine on the first Sunday of every month! I knew that afternoon tea and tease would be a match made in heaven and I can't wait to see if their Silent film and supper club is just as good.

http://www.volupte-lounge.com/

"Sip"-Tease Rating: *****
Pa"Tease"erie Rating: ****

Boudoir or Boring? rating: *****

Service with a Smile Rating: *****

Cheap or Chic? Rating: ***

Volupteas are on Saturdays and Sundays from 2:30pm - see website for more details,
Until next time....xox

Shoreditch Clandestine Cake Club - Meeting 3
"Monarchy Anarchy": Royalty Past and Present

My jubilee-themed May CCC meeting was a celebration of all things British, so it was apt that in typically British fashion the weather went all unpredictably bi-polar on us... A month ago I had chosen the perfect indoor venue, draped in regal velvets and silks; cluttered and cosy with gilded mirrors, thrones and velour galore. Then, of course, we had a heatwave (pretty unexpected after the wettest 'drought' we've ever had and yes, that is an oxymoron...) 
So on a sweltering May evening the surroundings and heat could easily have been a total disaster. Thankfully with a typically British stiff upper-lip the members of the Shoreditch CCC 'kept cool and carried on' despite the heat, and we had one of the largest funniest gatherings yet.

The Bridge Cafe and Bar, Kingsland Road

There was a little disaster in the form of my edible marzipan Imperial crown covered in gold leaf just dying and becoming a molten blob. And we certainly had to work quickly to take all the pics of our cake porn as the butter-cream and chocolate seemed to be melting before our very eyes like the Wicked Witch of the West. So, as soon as pics were done we dived in and OH MY GOD there were so many cakes and they were all gorgeous:

Victoria Sponge

Citrus and berry cake

Prince Regent, Pimms Cake and Battenburg

Earl Grey cake and Patriotic M&M's!

Not only were the cakes amazing (I literally can't put all the pics in) but the effort everyone went to for their attire was fantastic! We had tiaras, Union Jack bows, regal jewellery and a home-made crown which made us all look pretty silly amongst the regular (by which I mean normal) clientele of The Bridge. But we didn't care :) We were busy playing our Guess The Royal game and drinking our rather appropriate Corona's:

*weirdest pic I've ever taken at CCC... What u up to Maarf??

And I had to lay down strict rules that when you wrote on your neighbour's Post-It must be a real Royal and not Princess Leia or King Kong....! Anyway, Helen was the winner and she bagged herself a cute set of Avon Union Jack earrings worth £6 (courtesy of me and my other life as an Avon Lady). Can't complain!

I think I speak for everyone when I say a jolly good time was had by all and I'm looking forward to the real Jubilee if our Corona/Cake-fest was anything to go by! God save The Queen and all that - until next time..xox

Shoreditch 'Clandestine Cake Club' - Meeting 2:
"Film Fatale"...a film noir theme
"I stumble down a dimly lit street, swirling tendrils of fog caressing my stocking-clad gams. I've been searching for a joint to re-touch my lipstick, kick off my high heels and grab a rum-cola. Ahead of me, through the smog I see the dimly lit windows of Shoreditch Grind  - the welcoming glow beckoning me in. It seems as good a place as any to shake Big Johnny off my tail, and it's full of dames like me - dames in heels eating cake and getting tight.... I enter and the music of Nat King Cole envelopes me like an embrace. I walk, relieved, towards the bar..."

Ok so that didn't happen, but we did have our 2nd CCC in Shoreditch at the Grind, a fabulous cinema style cafe that stays open late during the weekend to serve alcohol. It was the perfect setting for my Film-Noir inspired theme and I was so pleased with the effort everyone made, not only with their cakes but with their outfits:

We had really fantastic staff on duty who were willing to humour us, playing my Noir playlist over the speakers and even helping out when I assembled everyone for a film noir quiz. the prize was a tiny bottle of Jack Daniels that was meant to be a homage to all the Scotch drinking that was done back then, but I couldn't find a more authentic brand...
The stars of the show were the cakes though - they were so creative!! Here's just a few:

The Black Dahlia - Mugshot Number!

D.O.A Inspired

There was also my Neo-Noir 'Blue Velvet' cake and a couple we never took pictures of as we'd had some wine by then and just totally forgot! It was a fantastic evening and I really can't wait to see what everyone does for the 'Royalty:Past and Present' theme on May 24th. Of course there'll be more games and prizes and if anyone wants to recommend some songs for a Royal soundtrack that doesn't just include Prince and Queen then let me know! xox

"Taxidermy and Tea" Bethnal Green
If some unfortunate person wired themselves up to my brain and intrepidly explored it's recesses (a bit like a Bear Grylls version of 'The Cell') they would encounter some very particular themes. I'm fairly convinced somebody did indeed do this and was inspired to create the following: "Taxidermy and Tea"!! And as well as doing exactly what it says on the tin and providing tea and taxidermy, the event also included some of my other favourite things, such as 'tease in the form of Burlesque act Coco Deville and an Alice In Wonderland/Heston Blumenthal food mash-up courtesy of Animal Vegetable Mineral. I honestly don't know where to start...

My friend and I arrived fairly early which gave us carte blanche to dig into the amazing Mad Hatter's style spread before anyone else had a chance! The first thing we did was try the inhalable cakes which were vanilla or toffee apple flavour helium gas in colourful balloons - of course they came with the added surprise of making us sound like chipmunks which we hadn't anticipated, and made me laugh and snort the lovely 'Teapigs' tea out of my nose when Debbie started talking like Alvin.
Also available were scones, jammy dodgers, iced mushrooms that tasted like crispy cinnamon biscuits and marzipan bumblebees. I dug in to some of the savoury sandwiches first: perfect ham and mustard, buttery cheese and cucumber and spicy egg mayonnaise, before devouring the sweets.

There was a chocolate tower which needed to be smashed with a mallet, candy floss trees containing the best candy-floss I've EVER tasted and also little chocolate and beetroot mousses with chocolate 'soil' crumbs and mint leaves that made them look like little potted plants. And even though the food did taste amazing, half the fun came from putting things in your mouth that you weren't quite sure about...were the mini ice cream cones going to be sweet or savoury? Did the marzipan bees contain real honey..or real bee?! It was all so Willy Wonka - it was amazing!
After we'd filled our bellies we waddled off like Augustus Gloop and took a seat in front of the shabby heart-shaped stage to await the amazing Amanda...

What then ensued was a thoroughly enjoyable and informative session with Amanda as she 'taxidermied' a rabbit before our very eyes! The process was done in two stages with the skinning occuring for the first hour. It was very interactive, and the audience were able to shout out questions to Amanda and join in the discussion as she worked. Even better, we had a break in the middle which allowed us to re-fill on tea (or at the bar if we preferred) and shove more sweets into our eager mouths. (For an audience like us, it wasn't as if the taxidermy put us off the ham sandwiches - if anything, I really wanted a nice rabbit stew...)
Then, as we digested a bit we were regaled by the fantastic burlesque performer Coco Deville and her Alice In Wonderland inspired act. See here for a snippet:

Part two of T&T consisted of the 'stuffing' part of the taxidermy, again with step-by-step instructions and Amanda's fantastic stories and patter with the audience. The only problem is she was so good she made it look too easy and I have a feeling lots of people will try their hand at this in their kitchens at home, much to their 'other halfs' horror!
After the session we had a lovely chat with Amanda who I'd like to work with in future on various projects, and I couldn't help but wonder if taxidermy may overcome things such as knitting and crochet as a 'group' activity. Why go to Knat and Natter or Stitch and Bitch when you could take part in a Gut and Gossip session, or go to Stuff and Nonsense?! There's definitely a market for it ;) And living in a London flat where pets aren't allowed, I certainly think I've found a loophole...

All in all, the perfect way for me to spend a Saturday - it had absolutely everything...nearly... The only thing it was missing was Bear Grylls :( 
Until next time...xox
http://www.amandasautopsies.com/
http://www.avmcuriosities.com/ (Animal Vegetable Mineral)
http://www.therobincollective.co.uk/ (Experimental Pop-Up Events)
http://www.coco-deville.com/

"Big Chocolate Tea Party!" For....

Every April the SCT encourages people to throw a choccy tea party and also has stalls to sell donated cakes. This year one was in Borough Market and I baked a cake as well as helped out on the stall for a few hours. Oh my gosh it was so difficult not to shove my face in all the lovely cakes!

A nice little surprise was the organiser of 'The Cake And Bake Show 2012" which will be in earls Court during September. He donated lots of pink and glittery vanilla cupcakes that went like hot-cakes...or like cup-cakes I guess..!

I think it's definitely time to change that phrase from hot-cakes to cup-cakes as it seems the delicious single portion delights have never been so popular. In fact the lovely organiser of the campaign, Sophie Dean (Community Fundraiser for SCT), tells me we took over £1000 that day for the SCT so all in all it was a massive success :)
Thanks to everyone who came down on the day and thanks for the donated cakes from The Cake and Bake Show, Beas of Bloomsbury and Ms Cupcake among others. hope to see you at the next one xox

www.sickchildrenstrust.org

"Lost Society" 1920's afternoon tea (@Blind Tiger)

http://www.blindtigerlondon.co.uk/

Finally Easter arrived which meant I could go back to my usual creamy, meaty, chocolatey eating habits. Don't get me wrong - I have nothing against vegetarians or vegans and I absolutely love things like Quorn and tofu, but life for me is certainly about choice and balance so it was nice to be able to treat myself after a good internal spring clean...!
So I did it in style at "Lost Society" in South London, a little gem of a place that I annoyingly never knew about when I lived down that way.

For everyone who thinks that you can only find decent places to eat, drink and be merry North of the river then think again: South London has some brilliant places which aren't as full of hipsters and aren't as expensive so it's well worth taking a trip to the deep, dark South...

The decor at Lost Society is really luxurious and vintage with a theme that relies heavily on Prohibition. Cocktails are served in teapots and there are lists of pre- and post-prohibition drinks on the menu, and the music I'm happy to say was also of the right era.

The food itself was amazing! One of the best teas I've ever had. To begin with we were given a complimentary Bellini which was beautiful and felt considerably naughty at 3pm on a Sunday...

Then the sandwiches came and they were to die for. As the meat-eater to my vegetarian companion, it was left to me to devour the little open sandwiches with Coronation chicken, salmon and cream cheese and gorgeous beef and horseradish that was just the right shade of pink in the middle. My friend had the cheese and the egg ones which I'm told were delicious. We both washed them down with the Bellinis while our English Breakfast tea was brewing beside us. (I always go for English Breakfast as that is a staple I can compare across the board. But this tea menu was really interesting and provided by Tea Pigs - it even included a 'popcorn' tea which I'd love to try next time.)

'Big Chocolate Tea Party' in aid of The Sick Childrens Trust
Listen up, cake bitches! - now it's time to put your money (and your time) where your mouth is: Bake a big chocolate cake for this Saturday (April 7th) then head to Borough Market with your wares...

www.sickchildrenstrust.org

The Sick Childrens Trust are running the Big Chocolate Tea Party campaign throughout April in order to raise money to provide accomodation for the parents of sick children. This is because there are many children who need to be treated far from the family home for their conditions, and this can put a financial strain on parents and siblings. (See the direct link on your right.)
Last year the campaign enabled the SCT to provide over 600 nights of free accomodation to the families of sick children, so lets try and top that this year :)

Head down to the lovely Borough Market from Saturday early morning, either to donate a cake or to buy one. I'll be taking two cakes with me, one donated by the fantastic Crimson Heart Cafe in Shoreditch (see my other posts labelled 'Crimson Heart') and one made by my own fair hands! I'll also be volunteering on the stall so come and say 'Hi' and fill your face :) See you then xox

Shoreditch "Clandestine Cake Club" - Meeting 1

Thanks so much to everyone who came to the inaugural meeting of the Shoreditch CCC at Crimson Heart. It was so lovely sitting round and getting to know each other, and feeling (kind of) healthy due to the Vegan theme for the month. There was banana maple syrup, lemon drizzle, chocolate carrot, banana tahini, steamed berry... It was actually quite nutritious when you think about it :)

The 'Vintage Tea Party' Book - By Angel Adoree

On the way to a 1926 night at Troxy :)

What an absolutely beautiful book to own! I do love my Kindle as I'm an avid reader and it's easier for me to use that to carry the 10 books I can read in a week - but there is nothing better than holding a gorgeous book like this in your hands and going over its pages time and time again, in a big comfy chair.
And the best thing about it is it's not just a 'cook-book' but also has tips on how to source vintage china, make decorations and even get the perfect vintage look for your tea party. But because of the large range of subjects it covers, I was surprised at how sophisticated the recipes are. This is a 'grown-ups' cook book which includes dishes like smoked salmon souffle and brie & walnut savoury scones. It even includes so many things I've never even heard of...and I've been to a lot of tea parties! Coddled eggs, aspics...the list goes on.

http://vintagepatisserie.co.uk/ 

Now I'm half Irish and half Gypsy, so I thought I was aware of every possible excuse to drink during the day...champagne breakfast, bloody mary, mulled cider etc. But even I haven't heard of "Athol Brose" - a delicious combination of cream, honey, whiskey and oats to be downed with your bacon and eggs. That's next on my list to try :)
Continuing the boozy theme, there is a gorgeous selection of tea cocktails such as a 'Tea-quila Sunrise' and a 'Tea-tini'. So who thought tea parties were twee and boring?? Of course there are also some amazing recipes for sweet treats but I don't want to spoil the surprise - go and get the book!

 http://angeladoree.co.uk/ 

Angel herself is an amazing woman - you may remember her from Dragons Den (watch here):