"Rock 'n' Roll" Afternoon Tea @ Bar 190, The Gore Hotel

Despite making a reservation for their famous Rock 'n' Roll Tea, the staff here seemed to have no idea what we were asking for and after much to-ing and fro-ing tried to sit us in the Bistro for an ordinary tea. The way we were dressed and the conversation we were having, that bistro would have thrown us out within 5 minutes! Thankfully we were moved back to Bar 190 and allocated some seats, and we were brought our Jack Daniels and coke as mentioned on the menu. Now we knew the 'theme' of this tea was Jack Daniels so we were happy with the drinks, and waited patiently for the food... What we didn't know was that we weren't getting any actual tea....
This really was Rock 'n' Roll! 
We ate the most delicious little finger sandwiches, eclairs and scones with clotted cream, and washed it all down with JD and coke :)

We were then served an extra plate of mini-muffins literally soaked in JD and some JD flavour biscuits that tasted very home-made.... 

We weren't keen on the mini blueberry and lemon tarts as they were far too tangy, but there was so much food it didn't matter. Between the four of us we couldn't eat it all anyway. Which is silly because lining our stomachs better would have been a good idea :)

The price for the tea was average for a good hotel and had a better than average selection, but we spent far more on subsequent JD and cokes. This was because the atmosphere and the bar itself were fantastic! And the soundtrack of Rolling Stones, Eric Clapton and various Tarantino film songs made up for all the messing about in the beginning, so we just got comfy and stayed there..

All in all, this was a sexy bar with a good history of Rock'n'Roll debauchery - so you can act a lot more naughty than you can at most afternoon teas! The meal itself is not expensive by premium hotel standards, but watch your intake of extra drinks because they will set you back much more money. And there is an option to have tea instead of JD, so that may be a better way to keep you from copying Jagger's Rock'n'Roll excess :)
(Incidentally, the most ironic thing about this day was that by the time I got home, I'd had so much JD and was feeling so tipsy that the first thing I did was make a huge cup of good old Tetley xox


"Sip"-tease Rating: *
Pa"Tease"erie Rating:***
Boudoir or Boring? rating:*****
Service With (nothing but) a Smile Rating:**
Cheap or Chic? Rating:**

Mad Hatter's Tea Party (1)
No blog on afternoon tea could possibly be complete without some additions from the infamous Tea Party in 'Alice in Wonderland'. This just happens to be my favourite book/film/game/philosophy on life in general and I'm very excited that American McGee is doing a sequel to his October 2000 installment. It's released in June and you can see a little teaser here:

I don't know about you but I cannot wait to go back down that rabbit hole! Much of my artwork is inspired by Alice and I will be adding some pics of it very soon, so keep your eyes peeled.....
Until next time xox

"The Vintage Patisserie"
I was recently very honoured to receive a lovely e-mail from Angel Adoree, the founder of 'The Vintage Patisserie'. Those of you who haven't yet sampled her cupcakes or been to any of the bespoke vintage tea-parties she organizes will definitely have seen her on 'Dragon's Den' promoting her business. 
From the humble beginnings of a simple market stall, she now creates vintage afternoon tea extravaganzas for all occasions, providing hostesses, retro hair and make-up stylists, music, decorations and of course, burlesque! Clients include Mylene Klass, Oasis and Agent Provocateur....and hopefully very soon, me!

So check out her Vintage Patisserie site on the above address, and also www.angeladoree.co.uk for more information on the services offered and to learn more about the fabulous Angel herself.

Until next time.......xox

"La Vie en Rose" Afternoon Tea @ The Rose Lounge, Sofitel St James

This Afternoon Tea was pretty much perfect from start to finish. From the moment we set foot in the Rose Lounge, the staff were polite and attentive, and went to prepare our champagne cocktails as we perused the menu. We already knew we would be opting for 'La Tea En Rose' which involved the usual finger sandwiches and scones, with the addition of Rose & Raspberry jam and some french themed patisserie, so we ordered and settled in to the amazing surroundings as a harpsichord player added to the ambience. 
In all honesty the sandwiches were pretty nice but average, and the scones, although warm and smelling delicious when they arrived, seemed pretty average too - but spread generously with the delicious Rose jam and clotted cream they were transformed. It was the patisserie however that was really amazing. We could choose 2 each from the selection, and one of the ones I opted for was a perfect pink raspberry macaroon that took me right back to Laduree in Paris.

The tea itself was beautiful and fresh - from an incredibly large menu, I opted for the Earl Grey and my companion went for the Green Tea. And unlike some other places, the staff came to top up our pots with hot water continually, without being asked. But it was the Champagne cocktail, which included Rose Liqueur and real rose petals, that completely blew us away, and we ended up having 3. Despite us being there for hours, there were no hints for us to leave and the staff took pictures for us and remained very friendly and professional.
I can't recommend this place enough - everything was perfect, down to the Rose petals scattered on the table, and considering it's a mid-priced tea it was incredible value for money.

The Rose Lounge will close from July 1st for a few months for renovation elsewhere in the hotel - I suggest you get yourself down there as soon as possible to experience this amazing hidden gem.
"Sip"-tease Rating: *****
Pa"Tease"erie Rating:****
Boudoir or Boring? rating:*****
Service With (nothing but) a Smile Rating:*****
Cheap or Chic? Rating:***

Afternoon Tea @ The Montcalm Hotel

Nestled in the Georgian enclave of Great Cumberland Place, The Montcalm Hotel looks promising from the outside. But on entering the foyer we're dismayed to see that the restaurant/tearoom IS the foyer itself, and the level of activity and bad acoustics give the area rather an impersonal feel.
We're finally seated after a bit of a wait resulting from some confusion over the booking... I think it's because we were booked in for the Chocolate Indulgence Tea (of course..!) But none of the staff seem to know what that means, and seem to think we're asking for "chocolate tea". As good as that combination sounds, I don't think the world is ready for it yet..!
The staff finally understand what we're requesting and we receive our pots of Earl Grey etc pretty quickly. We did wait a very long time for the food though - in fact we drank a lot of tea in the interim. So it was annoying that when we asked for more tea, once the food arrived, we were looked at again as though we were speaking in Chinese.
It's a good job the food was delicious, with delicate finger sandwiches, chocolate chip mini-scones and various mini macaroons and praline slices, and we were glad we'd opted for the chocolate version, as after all that waiting we did feel in need of an instant pick-me-up.

So all in all, the food and drink was fantastic quality, but the surroundings and staff left a lot to be desired:


"Sip"-Tease Rating: ***
Pa"Tease"erie Rating: ***
Boudoir or Boring? rating: **
Service With (nothing but) a Smile rating: *
Cheap or Chic? rating: ***

Time to really get things started...

Coming up soon there'll be a review of afternoon tea at The Montcalm Hotel, but before I get to that I'll discuss the layout of the blog posts. Basically there'll be the usual written review to discuss as much as I can about each venue. Then hopefully a photograph or two of the delights on offer that day - yes that includes me... ;-) Then there'll be an at-a-glance 5* rating of the specific bonuses that make a great afternoon tea.
For example, the 'Sip'-tease rating will be higher if the variety of teas on offer is larger. The Pa-'tease'-erie rating will be higher if there is a large selection of patisserie and if it tastes fantastic. The Cheap or Chic rating will be higher, the more economic/affordable the tea etc. 
Any tea/burlesque puns that you'd like to send me would be gratefully accepted as there are only so many one person can come up with! And before anyone says it, there are a few, such as 'cream tease' that I thought of....but they're too rude! No mentions of big jugs on here thank you very much, this is a family website ;-)


Until next time... xox

There's nothing like the great British Cuppa

Well I've just returned from a jaunt in Tunisia and I'm sorry to say I did betray my Afternoon Tea ethos by spending most of my time drinking Turkish coffee and eating baclava :) 
As nice as that is, and highly addictive, the first thing I did when I returned was get my Tetley Extra Strong out and the grab the biggest mug I could find. I had to put a picture of this mug on here, compared to a normal sized tea-cup, so you can see it in all it's glory - it's so big and round it may as well have a nipple on it. Thanks Urban Outfitters for supplying a cup big enough for the vat of tea I needed to counteract all that coffee, and thanks Tetley for a tea bag that was strong enough to fill it!

Now I'm back in England I'll hitting the tea rooms ASAP and sharing my experiences so, until next time....
xox