The REAL TeaseMaid since 2011! Take a peep at my blog: a sweet and sexy cocktail of Tea and Tease, a cupcake and cream-tea blog with a burlesque twist. Let's face it, afternoon tea is the most fun you can have with your clothes on! So read on for some tasty tit-bits that you're not gonna get from the 'old dears' at The Tea Guild.... ;-) If you fancy coming along to my monthly Clandestine Cake Club, see the link below. And don't forget to check out the date of my next 'Avon' retro cosmetic party "Cake It On".... Love from The TeaseMaid xox

Monday, 4 June 2012

"Time for Tease" at Volupte Lounge, Norwich Street
Perhaps I'm kinky or perhaps I just like value for money, but if I can have a cuppa and baps at the same time then I certainly won't say no. My penchant for a bit of titillation with my tea, and nipples with my nibbles, is fairly well known since I dreamed up the concept for this blog a couple of years ago: I wanted a nice tongue-in-cheek way to review afternoon tea, a supposedly innocent past-time that has its fair share of double-entendres (finger sandwiches anyone..?)
When I later discovered that someone had actually created afternoon tea which involved burlesque, it's safe to say I'd be there with knobs on - or tassels - I'm not fussed.
The day finally arrived and I crossed Volupte Lounge's dim threshold into a world of fabulous wallpaper, beautiful crockery and pin up pictures, and left the busy Jubilee streets behind.
It absolutely did not disappoint - it was everything I hoped it would be. From the moment we sat down at our table we were treated like Royalty (how apt) and offered a glass of bubbly. We then had plenty of time to peruse the menu of tea and tea based cocktails which are served in large or small teapots (This, I really like, as it means you can be an absolute booze-hound and no-one can tell...because the tea cocktails are actually HOT!)
As soon as we had chosen our delicious cocktails (and stipulated that although my companion was a vegetarian, I was happy to eat anything put in front of me) we were served a gorgeous array of finger sandwiches to nibble on almost immediately. I was pleased to discover that my favourite Coronation Chicken was on the menu, and happily not just for the Jubilee! (I was also given extra Coronation Chicken sandwiches as they are my favourite and for this reason alone I was ready to marry the waitress.)
The tea cocktail arrived in delicate matching china pots and we got down to the business of diving straight in.
Nibbling and sipping aside, we were able to have some time to chat (with mouths fairly full) before being pleasantly interrupted by the compere, the fantastic Ophelia Bitz, who regaled us with songs and jokes to warm us up. I have to say I was feeling pretty warmed up by the time the first burlesque artist came on, but that may have had a lot to do with the Gunfire (Lapsang Souchong and Rum) too....
After the first couple of acts, yet more delicate china arrived, this time a cake stand with scones and patisserie:
When I first saw it I did think it looked a little bit sparse compared to other selections I've had, but sometimes quality is more important than quantity. The little brownies were a divine gooey chocolatey mouthful, and the lemon posset with passion fruit was just tart enough to counteract any sickliness brought on by the copious amounts of booze and sugar. And realistically, we'd had so many nice sandwiches that any more cake would've killed us off.
Further welcome interruptions included more Ophelia Bitz, more acts (I won't put their pics on as it would spoil the surprise) and also some nipple tassels for sale courtesy of Rae Jenkin. My budget won't stretch to nipple tassels and pasties at the moment (there's another naughty joke: pasties and pastries...) but I took a card to browse the on-line selection. If I can get some of the cupcake pasties one day I'll know if finally 'made it' in the world of cake ;)
We really could've stayed there a lot longer - the decor was gorgeous and decadent and even the toilets were glamorous:
The music was great and the ambience was fantastic. It was with a fairly reluctant heavy gait that we ascended back into the bright London day around 2 hours after we'd arrived. I think next time I'll just head into the fabulous little upstairs bar and while the night away.
And there will be a next time for certain, for me and my companion who's already planning on bringing friends. 
Not only do the acts rotate so you will see different artists during different sittings, meaning you can keep returning and never get bored, but Volupte also host silent film in their Cine Illumine on the first Sunday of every month! I knew that afternoon tea and tease would be a match made in heaven and I can't wait to see if their Silent film and supper club is just as good.
"Sip"-Tease Rating: *****
Pa"Tease"erie Rating: ****
Boudoir or Boring? rating: *****
Service with a Smile Rating: *****
Cheap or Chic? Rating: ***

Volupteas are on Saturdays and Sundays from 2:30pm - see website for more details,
Until next time....xox

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